Dear Wedding Planner…

typewriter - dear wedding planners - blog photo cropped

Your are loved by your clients because you are a detail oriented multi-tasking wedding planner.  You have a plan for everything. You are the person who calls the police when you spot a drunk driver, volunteer to bring flowers for teacher appreciation week, and answer your phone when your friend needs an honest opinion about her new business idea.

The nature of your job is to be everything to everyone.  However, I am telling you to stop.  Stop over planning your personal life!  It is driving your husband crazy, and making your kids lazy, and turning you into an insomniac.

Leave it alone… 

Stop giving free advise.  You don’t have to respond to the Facebook post from a friend of your friend that wants to know the best cake baker in town.

Stop planning parties you are NOT paid for.  You don’t have to tell the birthday party host that a 6 year old’s swim party should not last 3 hours. Refrain yourself from asking the host if she wants you to gather up the kids to sing Happy Birthday.

Stop volunteering to be homeroom mom.  The other mom’s are taking advantage of your ninja-level planning skills.  Aren’t you tired of  spending your own money when other parents ‘forgot’ to contribute to the classroom fund?  Instead, volunteer to be a mystery reader or art masterpiece mom…a task that gets you proportionate kudos for the amount of time you put in.

Take action and…

Assist during true emergencies.  Don’t assume someone else will do perform the Heimlich or call an ambulance during an emergency.  Do it yourself, as others will assume someone else is handling the situation.  Learn more about the bystander effect here.

Keep your secrets secret.  The bride doesn’t needs to know that the cake collapsed prior to her wedding.

Keep crying at weddings.  The day you stop feeling an emotional charge on the wedding day is the day you need to get out.  It’s ok to get close to your wedding families and root to them on the sidelines.

Every once in awhile, it’s okay to take a step back and let someone else take over.
Life is sweet…now eat a chocolate caramel bar.


Shannon Underwood

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11 Responses

  1. Hi Shannon, YES, this is me. I go to my children’s birthday parties and tell other moms when to cut the cake. I am always getting into other people’s business…call me a control freak but it serves me well in my wedding planning business. Thank you for this article, Steph

  2. Angela says:

    Sooooo true! Thank you for this fantastic post! As a wedding planner, I constantly am doing “too much” for free!

  3. I am an alpha type, but not the alpha aggressor. I love to take charge but know when to step back. I love lending a hand but also know not to be overbearing. This is true in both my professional and personal life.

  4. Cera Harrold says:

    Stephanie, thank you so much for the much needed reminder! I’m a wedding planner myself and have been known to feel exhausted after a week of planning weddings, my family’s schedule, and keeping up with posts on social media all while attempting to keep the house clean and picked up. Setting boundaries is one of the hardest things for me to do. I want to be the “yes man” for everyone. Learning how to say no has been a challenge and I’m so thankful for your reminder of encouragement and that it’s ok to say no, by volunteering to do something else just as helpful. You’re a sanity saver – thank you!

    • Shannon says:

      Cera, I know how hard it can be. I am always challenged with wanting to do things right. (Too much perfection) And wanting to get things done now (Too impatient)…BUT I’m working on it. Glad to hear you are too! Shannon

  5. Tamesha says:

    Thanks so much for reminding us that we don’t have to be everything to everyone! I absolutely loved this article!

  6. Anne Pollock says:

    You are so right – your energies are a finite resource an can’t be frittered away:) Warmly, Anne

  7. Megan Reaves says:

    Guilty! I was just talking about this with a friend yesterday. One word: Boundaries. We need to learn to have them 🙂

  8. Gineen says:

    LOVE this advice. I’m guilty of always volunteering at the school thinking it will lead to instant referrals. I’m still waiting on the referrals. I have redirected to putting my energy into my kids parties and personal family events (like mine or hubby’s only). I’ve found that often it’s strangers and not family and friends that support my business the most!!

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